Getting Even
by TheSlytherin3
Summary: If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge? Full Summary in story!


**So this is a one-shot Dedicated to Alanna Darkfeather!**

**Background! Everyone is alive and Sirius is free. Voldemort died in 4th year, Harry used the bombarda spell on worm-tail, knocking him into the cauldron right on top of voldy. Crushing the embryo-creature. We are the 7th year!**

**Disclaimer! I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

"Harry James Potter!" Screeched Hermione Granger. The indignant witch stomped towards the doe-eyed man. A pretty red-head seemingly strutting behind her. Though this **_strut_** mimicked a drunken squirrel.

"Mione!" Harry greeting, hastily tucking and shoving away suspicious looking parchment. His identical accomplices scurrying away with the rest. Leaving Harry alone.

**_Traitors_****. **

"Do you see this!? Look at what you've done to me!" The irate witch bellowed. And rightly so, not an inch of skin was left unpainted gold and red. Even Hermione's hair was braided into little lions.

**_Another innocent victim._**

"S-sorry Mione' ,but Draco could enter the dorms anytime! I had to defend myself!" Harry pointed out. And he was correct. Those snakes slithered into the Gryffindor common room daily. Setting all kinds of dangerous traps. Well Harry felt they were dangerous. Nevermind Harry and the twins did the exact same thing to those snakes.

Hermione let out exasperated sigh. Used to Harry's crazy antics by now.

"How long will this last?" Though Hermione asked patiently one couldn't ignore the slight edge of hysteria in her voice.

The Lord seemed to shrink into himself.

Yes, Lord, you read correctly, another piece of information Dumbledore forgot to mention. Though Harry was no Voldemort, he did enjoy hearing occasional 'My Lord' ,but back to the story.

The Lord seemed to seemed to shrink into himself. Whether from Hermione's tone or the sudden clear view of freckled cleavage from a certain red-head witch.

The world may never know.

"A week Mione!" Then Harry was gone. Using those Quidditch skills to get the hell of there before Hermione crucioed him. Or worse. Made his broom stick nonfunctional.

All the occupants of Hogwarts flinched as a familiar voice of Hermione Granger screamed in rage.

...

Harry entered the Great Hall cautiously. Briefly giving the Headmaster his signature middle finger as blue eyes twinkled at him. Oh how Harry loathed Dumbledore's blinding robes.

He continued to scan the room for potential threats. Remus and McGonagall were chatting leisurely. Sirius was making an attempt to hold Severus' hand?! While Harry and the Potions master's relationship grew once Harry accepted the sun did not shine out of his father's arse, he did not and would have never seen this coming. This is like Voldemort being declared world's most handsome wizard. Laughable and slightly emetic. Though Tom Riddle was quite sexy.

Poor Harry was so transfixed at the horrifying scene his godfather and Severus presented he didn't notice Draco. Until it was much too late.

"Geschlechtsumwan dlung!" Draco yelled in triumph. For a Gryffindor, Potter was surprisingly evasive. This is the first time Draco had a clear shot that Potter did not easily dodge.

Harry promptly burst into hysterical laughter at the gibberish Draco yelled. Until Ronald's muffled "Bloody Hell Potter!" tipped him off that something was very wrong. Not to mention the freckled red head's spittle spewed onto the side of Harry's face. Only then did Harry take in his new..appearance.

He was in a dress. And not like the dress Hermione wore to the Yule ball. A black tattered dress resembling Bellatrix Lestrange's infamous dress. The dress showed a fair amount of cleavage. He had boobs. Boobs that were almost falling out of the already barely there dress. And his legs were smooth, gone was the leg hair Harry once braided in immense boredom. Now they were replaced with smooth legs that ran for miles.

"MALFOY!" Even his voice was different. Though slightly husky Harry's voice was definitely feminine . Draco couldn't respond. The Malfoy heir was currently drowning from his own nose bleed.

The Lord, or should we say Lady Potter, folded her arms around her prominent chest, making it only more visible. Resulting in 3/4 of Hogwarts seventh year boys to stand. Remus, Sirius, Severus, and Dumbledore finally jumped to action. Shielding her from view. hurriedly exiting the Great Hall with Hermione dutifully following.

...

"Look at me! I'm a bloody woman!" Harry cried hysterically. Though she didn't feel like a boy trapped in girl's body. Thank Salazar. Harry collected herself before continuing, "Can I be changed back?" No one had the strength the answer when they looked into desperate doe green eyes. Hermione did though. Probably still sour about the prank.

"Geschlechtsumwan dlung is a german temporary sex changing spell. I am using the word temporary mildly. If you were meant to be a boy, you the spell would have ended by now." Hermione said softly. Though her brown eyes quickly narrowed as she and Harry had seemed to be having an unspoken conversation.

**_Women_**.

Harry startled everybody as her fingers twitched. Dumbledore's body slumping in his chair. Not so surprisingly it was Remus who immediately opened his mouth to scold Harry. But what was surprising was Sirius interrupting the werewolf, sounding uncharacteristically serious.

"It was Dumbledore wasn't it! He changed you into a boy?"

Remus immediately protested. "Dumbledore? Why would he, come on Siruis that is-"

"No he's correct." All heads turned towards the solemn Hermione as she continued to speak. " The ritual is considered dark, only the spell Draco hit you with could be the counter. The main reason the ritual is considered dark is-" Severus finished for Hermione.

"The performer and victim need extreme power. You also need a parents permission. I'm sorry Harry but I know Lily would not have allowed it." This time Sirius did jump up.

"James would not have-!"

"He would... would...I remember now. Being in the hospital room and seeing you for the first time. It was difficult tell if you were a boy or girl by looking but I did smell the disappointment wafting off James and Albus.

**_Old goat sucking lemon drop bastard!_**

Harry marched over to the fire-place, floo called Amelia Bones, Head of the DMLE.

"Hello Lord...Potter? What can I do for you.." Amelia asked hesitantly, wondering if this was a result of the prank war Susan mailed her about.

"Good Morning, Madam Bones, I have found some incriminating evidence of Albus Dumbledore. I would like you to take him in and subtlety set up a trial for tomorrow. Dumbledore holds to much weight in the wizarding world, I want to keep this on the low."

Amelia eyed the...Lady shrewdly before speaking, " I will take your word for it Lady Potter, you have after all, done much for the magical community."

Harry gifted Amelia with a heart-breaking smile. Causing her to blush. Everyone could practically hear Sirius' eyebrows raise at the action. Harry and the occupants carried Dumbledore's still breathing body through the fireplace before ending the call. Wincing as gaudy robes temporarily blinded the group.

"Hey..hey Remus..do you think Amelia is a lesbian?"

"Sirius!"

"What?! I completely am!

...

"Guys! Guys! Wake up!" Harry whisper-yelled. She wasn't supposed to be in the boy's dormitory but this is for revenge. For getting even.

The twins finally wake, no one truly knows why they sleep in the same bed, but know one wanted to guess either.

"Ahh the new Luscious Lady Potter! How may we-"

"- Service you?" The twins winked while Harry just rolled her eyes. Already used to the twins flirting ways. Even as a boy.

"Draco did turn me into a girl after all. One more prank. We'll hit him where it hurts." The three shared chilling smile with a glint in their eyes that spelled vindictive pleasure of what would come the next morning.

...

Draco let a horrified whimper escape him as he looked into the mirror. He couldn't bloody well leave the bathroom looking like this! Bloody Potter! Draco changed Harry into a temporary girl so he sneaks into his dorm at does this! His perfect silky locks gone! A bald Malfoy is not a pretty Malfoy. Draco closed his eyes in effort to stave off tears. His attempt was futile.

"My Hair! It's...it's gone!" Draco wailed dramatically, like the Ponce he is. But there was nothing he could do except don one of those out of season beanies and scurry into the Great Hall for breakfast. Hoping not to draw attention to himself.

...

The room fell into silence as Harry Potter entered. All witnessed yesterdays events and wanted to - prayed to merlin- see if the Potter Lord was officially a Lady. All boys, and Ginny Weasley, were happy to note Harry Potter was still very much female. Though it didn't take much to figure out why, Harry looked much better as a women.

Though slightly petite - The Dursley, may their souls rot in hell- Harry's locks grew to her arse. Said arse grew a little bigger much to almost everyone's delight. Long eyelashes framed her still green eyes, though they were lighter in shade. Almost an eerie lime color.

His bone structure grew more regal and feminine. A classic cute little nose and pouty lips completed the new and improved Potter.

All in all Draco succeeded in doing the opposite of his intentions. Harry was only more famous and better looking.

Said girl was shadowed by Fred and George Weasley, owners of Weasley's Wizards Wheezes which was doing very well. They quickly made their way to the Gryffindor table. Harry dutifully ignoring Ron's ogling and Hermione's huff of annoyance.

**_It wasn't her fault._**

Harry looked up from her waffles as Draco scurried in. Looking very shifty and nervous. Like he had some kind of rash.

'Dragon Pox maybe?' Harry thought curiously.

'No! No you twit, remember he is bald?!' Harry's subconscious scolded. He..or she..was always mean to Harry. That's probably why she never listened to its advice during her "Adventures". But Draco! Draco can't wear a hat! That is cheating.

'Well of course he's cheating, he is a Slytherin'

'Are you not forgetting that you are supposed to be in Slytherin?!' Harry shoved her subconscious into a broom cupboard of her mind. Fashioned to looked like her old living arrangements at the Dursleys.

**_May their souls forever feel agony. _**

Harry is not nor will ever be a Slytherin! The evil grin and subtlety banishing of Draco's beanie said otherwise.

A girly screeched was heard throughout the hall. Coupled with the banshee voice of Pansy Parkinson.

"DRACO WHERE IS YOUR HAIR!?"

**_So maybe some Slytherins have their uses._**

As Draco fled the laughing hall as the owls flew in. Harry grabbed the Daily Prophet and paid the owl with sausage. No one is going to give up precious bacon. Her good mood only heightened as she read.

**Lord Potter is now Lady Potter?**

**Reported last night directly from the Halls of Hogwarts was a prank gone wrong. The witness recounted that Draco Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy family, jinxed Lord Potter with a sex changing spell. The spell was timed to wear off in hours. Only it did not my dear readers. Lord or Lady Potter was not available for questioning. The change does not seem to faze fans, many wizards are lining up for marriage contracts and a chance to speak to The-Women-Who-vanquished-You-know-who. My question why did then spell not end? What caused it to malfunction? One can only guess. But Rita Skeeter will deliver the scoop. **

**Daily Prophet**

**Rita Skeeter**

"Hermione are you still paying Rita off?"

"Of course Harry."

"What would without you dear?" Harry drawled in a Malfoy manner.

Hermione giggled and stood, gathering her belongings. " Lets go Harry, we can't be late for class and the trial is begins at lunch."

Harry grinned fondly at Hermione's bossy tone, taking the girls hand as they exited the Great Hall.

"Then off we trot sis!"

...

"Okay everybody ready?" Remus asked nervously.

"Yes, but remind me why Malfoy is with us?" Harry asked with a sidelong glare in Draco's direction. Who in retaliation inched away from the irate Lady. Finding himself between Sirius and the twins.

"My father instructed me to attend Potter."

"Oh why? So he can give you a new beanie?" Harry replied sweetly. Draco only twitched slightly. Getting teary eyed at the reminder of his baldness.

"Okay! Lets go everyone" Remus said, pushing everyone into the floo.

...

"We are now in attendance for the trial of Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore. Administer the Veritaserum!" Minister Fudge crowed happily. Sadly, Fudge was reelected and was ecstatic to put Dumbledore in his place. Madam Bones sigh heavily as she dosed the struggling old man.

"What is your name."

"Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore."

"Did you knowingly change Lady Potter in anyway."

"Y-Yes."

"Explain."

"She is the savior. She could not be a girl, the magical community would not have allowed her to fight." Dumbledore did have a point. The magical community was rather sexist and treasured women as breeders. Harry would have been revered.

"Is that all? If not explain."

"I-I compelled her to hate Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape." A collective dramatic gasp echoed throughout the room.

"Last question, did you knowingly leave Harry Potter with muggles?"

"Yes. I paid them to be abusive and cruel to her." Harry scowled at the back of Dumbledore's chair. It was his fault she never reached normal height of a witch! Harry could barely reach books on the third rung in the library when Hermione forced her to go!

" The accused has spoken! Aye for guilty, nay for innocent."

A collective "Aye!" was heard in the room before the minister spoke again.

"The victim, Harry Potter may present the sentence." Dumbldore's chair was switched so he may see Harry. Twinkling blue eyes met harden green.

'You know what to do.' Harry's subconcious whispered in a seductive rendition of Tom Riddle during second year. And yes, Harry did know what to do. Rising from her chair she spoke.

"Albus Wulfric Percival Brown Dumbledore will be presented three sentences. Firstly, you will be exiled to the prison Nurmengard with former Dark Lord Gridewald." Albus' twinkle dimmed slightly as Harry continued. " Secondly, your beard will be gone, and it shall never grow again." Albus' twinkling eyes vanished and he began to shake slightly. Harry flashed a cruel smile for of teeth as she finished. "For the rest of your life, you shall only wear plain black robes and never eat a lemon sweet." The sentences were to much for the old goat. Dumbledore began pleading and thrashing as his robes turned black, he beard gone, and his lemon drops forcibly taken from his robe pocket.

Everyone swallowed bile as Dumbledore shed his beard. Chin resembling a house elf's body.

"Everyone is dismissed!" Fudge yelled as Dumbledore was escorted out.

...

"Well Dumbledore is gone and will most likely die from withdraw! What do you want to do now pup?"

"Ice cream of course! Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Palor just came out with a blood flavor." Harry said excitedly. Not noticing everyone's pale faces.

"Potter, do you mind if I tag along?" Draco asked will fiddling the beanie his father gave him.

Harry inspected the Malfoy heir before replying. "Sure Draco, oh and you will stay bald until your birthday!"

Severus was forced to carry the Malfoy heir when he collapsed into a sobbing heap. Hermione quickly fled to Florish and Blotts. A girl can only take so much.

...

"Wow that ice cream was amazing right Remy?" Harry asked with a bright smile. Remus only smiled back weakly. Witnessing Harry slurp blood from her bowl was not a pleasant experience.

Harry paid Remus no mind as they made their way to Gringotts. Severus pointed out that they all could have been compelled to act a certain way. When Sirius praised his...boyfriend..he only received a glower in reply.

In her fascination with the brief moment Harry once again, was not paying attention and bumped into a man.

"Oh! I'm sorry I was not watching where I was..." Harry was unable to finish as she stared into familiar blue eyes and a smirk planted on his beautiful face. Harry's heart quickened as his voice confirmed her suspicions.

"Tom...Tom Riddle?"

"Happy Valentines day darling."


End file.
